


A Less (?) Cautionary Tale

by ladeedadaday



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cady gets kicked out of the Plastics, Confessions, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I promise, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, Love Triangles, M/M, More of Janis's Backstory, My horrible tagging has nothing to do with the quality of the story, No Burn Book releasing, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Sleepovers, Texting, instagram posts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:22:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24139561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladeedadaday/pseuds/ladeedadaday
Summary: What if they never threw a revenge party? What if Regina was still the queen bee? What if Cady left the Plastics? What if Cady never threw that actual party? What if Regina never got hit? What if...?A complete re-write of Mean Girls.
Relationships: Cady Heron & Damian Hubbard & Janis Sarkisian, Cady Heron/Aaron Samuels, Cady Heron/Janis Sarkisian, Damian Hubbard & Janis Sarkisian, Janis Sarkisian & Karen Smith, Regina George & Karen Smith & Gretchen Wieners, Regina George/Janis Sarkisian (past)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Across the Globe

**Author's Note:**

> No trigger warnings for this chapter :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy! <3

The lights were blinding and Damian _loved_ it. "Hello, freshmen!" Alongside him was Janis, in all her awkward glory. She was visibly uncomfortable, but she said she'd do it for him. Her voice was shaky as she explained what they were here to talk about, so he reached over to squeeze her hand. The shaking in her voice stopped almost immediately. He loved that he could comfort her by an action just as small as that one. "Enjoy the cautionary tale!" He yelled, full of energy. 

"Our story begins across the globe, in Africa." And so they prepared to tell their whole story. 

**[Last Year, three days before school starts.]**

"Cady?" Mrs. Heron called, bringing Cady her backpack.

Cady took the backpack, confused at the bags on her parents' backs. "Yeah, mom?" 

"We've lost our funding. We've gotta go to America." She furrowed her eyebrows, conflicted about how to feel. On one hand, she was excited to see all the new things that would be available to her. On the other, she'd miss the animals. "I know you grew up here, but I'm sure you'll love all the new things you'll get to see and learn about!" Her mother wiped away a tear that had fallen on her cheek. "Mpenzi, don't cry! I promise we'll come back to visit."

"I know." She whispered. "When are we leaving? I want to say goodbye."

Her mother wrapped her in a hug. "Tonight." 

Her father joined the hug. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"It's okay... It's just weird to leave my life behind." She felt hot tears running down her cheeks. "But I really am excited to do new things and make friends." 

\----

Cady's jaw dropped to the ground once she saw the inside of their house. The outside was plain and normal, like the rest of the ones on the street, but the inside was detailed and intricate and perfect. Her head was beginning to hurt from all the sights, like the bright green park their car had passed, but this one gained her full attention. "Mom, Dad, it's beautiful! This is gorgeous!" 

"I'm glad you like it." Cady was a red ball of excitement, looking around the house. "Go unpack your things, alright? We've also got to go shopping for your school supplies later today, I think we'll go tonight." Her mom said, tearing open the tape from one of the boxes, taking out who knows what.

"Okay, mom!" And with that, she was up the stairs. The gears in her mind started turning as she imagined all of the things she could do with the bare, white walls. "A map could go here..." She muttered, closing her eyes and envisioning the measurements and placement and image. "Some pictures in a cluster on the wall...This is gonna be fun."

As she fell asleep, she could feel her stomach churning in excitement. _New people, human friends, Starbucks, real school, ahh!_

**[First Day of School]**

She took in a deep breath before entering the school for the first time. She approached a group of kids about her age, and said, "Hi, teens!" 

One of the girls rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Unsubscribe." _Hm. Okay. I guess I'll just head to my homeroom... Maybe I can meet some people there!_

But she found herself at a loss for words once she laid eyes upon her classmates. They all looked so intimidating, even though that was their normal. “Um, hi, can I sit here?” 

"I wouldn't recommend it. Not if you want friends, anyway." Cady tilted her head to show her confusion. "Damian and I," She gestured to the kid behind her. "Are the freaks. Nobody hangs out with the freaks, and that means if you want friends, we aren't the ones to talk to." The two-tone haired girl slumped in her seat, twirling a pencil in between her fingers. 

"Are you sure I can't just sit here for today?" The girl in front of her turned around and shot her a snarky look. 

"Not unless you're gonna tickle my back, bitch." Cady was left shocked. She knew about cursing, of course, but did people really just toss it around like that? "Hmph!" And she turned back around. 

A girl was walking around, passing out pieces of paper; Schedules, Cady assumed. "Hi, everyone, welcome back to school. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Ms. Norbury and this year I'm going to be your homeroom teacher. We've got a new student this year, everyone welcome Caddy Heron." 

"It's pronounced like Katie." Ms. Norbury nodded. 

"Stand up and introduce yourself, please." It made warning bells trigger in her brain, but she stood up to do it anyway. 

"Uh, hi, I'm Cady Heron, and I just moved here from Africa, so I--"

She was interrupted by a quite rude teenager, shouting, "Take your top off!" She sat back down, burying her face in her hands. 

"The people here are like that. You'll gonna learn to block it out eventually." That came from the guy in the blue shirt. She nodded, to embarrassed to say anything in response. 

The bell rang and they went off to French class. Most of it was a blur, but she did remember that the girl had introduced herself as 'Janice,' therefore, Cady had reason to believe that her name was most likely Janis. Pretty unique name for someone in 2018. She'd remember that.

The rest of her classes flew by without a second thought, and before she knew it, she was in the bathroom for lunch. _So unsanitary,_ she thought _._ But she wasn't ready to face the whole cafeteria _._ A knock came at the stall door. "You've been in there a very long time, you're either doing drugs or very constipated from using drugs!" A high voice said. She threw open the door to explain that, no, she wasn't doing drugs, she was just lonely, but two people from her homeroom greeted her, rather than a teacher. 

"Hiii, I'm Janis." _So I was right!_

"And je m'appelle Sasha Fierce." The boy announced, playing with strands of her hair.

"This is Damian, he's almost too gay to function." Janis added, seeing how uncomfortable she was. "Damian, she's clearly not touchy, you can't just do that right away." She scolded, although not all too seriously.

"Anyways, we've decided that you need protecting so we're gonna be your starter companions until you find your place at Northshore." Cady smiled nervously, but felt somehow safer when she saw Janis' warm grin.

"What he means is we'll help you, Caddy." 

She smiled wider and so did Janis, offering her hand which Cady took. "Thank you. But it's Cady." 

She nodded. "I know. I'm gonna call you Caddy. Unless it really bothers you." 

"No, it's fine, I just thought you didn't know." 

"We're gonna take you on a walk around the cafeteria." And so the three if them exited the bathroom, into the empty hallways.

They were all grins, ear to ear, until the grin dropped from Janis's face and she dropped Cady's hand, drifting away from Cady and Damian. "It's safer this way." 

"Janis..." Damian said. She shot him a look, which Cady didn't fully understand but Damian clearly did. "If you really think it's the safest option..." She nodded. "Okay. We'll meet you at the table, sweetheart." She gave Cady's hand one last squeeze before briskly walking into the loud cafeteria. 

"What was that about?" Cady asked, not understanding the heaviness of the situation. 

"I''m not the one to ask. It's Janis' story." He shrugged, not letting her hand go. "It's dark and she's gotta trust you because it's her biggest secret." 

She was going to figure out what was wrong with Janis, no matter how dark or sad that thing could possibly be.


	2. Come Sit With Us Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cady meets the Plastics.  
> TW: Homophobic slurs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in 3rd person omniscient, last one was in 3rd person limited.

Damian introduced Cady to all the cliques, except for one. The three girls were all dressed incredibly fancy for school, based on what Cady had observed. Trying to discreetly point to them, she asked her two new friends, "Who's at that table there?"

Janis groaned dramatically and Damian laughed before answering. "We call those three the Plastics." 

"Simply put, they like to ruin lives, threaten people, and cheat on their boyfriends." Janis said, erasing something in her sketchbook. "Avoid them at all costs. They're dangerous." Cady held Janis's hand as they walked around. "Caddy... people are gonna say--" Janis couldn't finish because the tall blonde girl interrupted her, loudly. 

"Oh, look, Sarkisian's already sunk her dyke claws into the new girl. What a shame." Cady went to squeeze her hand but Janis had already let go of her hand. Janis bit her lip, attempting to keep her composure. "Listen, new girl. You don't wanna hang out with her kind. They're all freaks and she's going to attack you." Cady looked to Janis, worry in her eyes. She was looking the blonde girl right in the eye. "Why don't you come sit with us instead?" 

She looked to Damian. "You can go if you'd like to, I'm not gonna hold you hostage." He said, heading to the table, not wanting to deal with Regina's bullshit. 

"Unfortunately, space dyke over here can't say the same." Janis grit her teeth, clenching her fist. 

"You do know she has a name, right?" Regina looked, to put it bluntly, taken aback. It had been a while since anyone had stood up to her. "She's Janis." 

"Not anymore." Janis mumbled, rolling her eyes and heading to her table, losing herself in her sketchbook. 

Regina grabbed Cady's hand, dragging her to the table that two other girls were seated at. "This is Gretchen," The girl with brown hair waved to her, returning to typing on her phone. "And this is Karen," She gestured to the girl brushing her hair with a fork. _Oh boy. What have I done?_ "So, why don't I know you?"

"Oh! Uh, I just moved here. From Africa." Regina raised her eyebrows. "I used to be home schooled." 

She hummed, crossing her arms. "Well, you're like, really pretty." 

"Thank you!" 

"So you agree?" _Huh?_ "You think you're really pretty?" 

She didn't really know how to answer that question. Isn't it cocky to say yes? "Um, I don't know..." 

You're going to be spared of the details of the events that followed. It was a long, painful process that Cady wished she could've escaped. All the girls discussed was drama at school (there was drama on the first day,) social media, and the rules Cady would need to follow to sit with them. 

She met Janis and Damian in the bathroom after lunch. "What happened?" Janis asked, filing her nails. 

"They told me all their rules and they talked about something called Instagram, and then gossiped about everyone in the school." Janis nodded, exhaling loudly but not sighing, and she glared at a few girls who were looking at her and whispering. 

"I see nothing has changed since I got kicked out." 

Damian wasn't too concerned about the gossiping. "JANIS! She doesn't know what Instagram is!" 

"Oh, shit. Cads, you're gonna need one of those if you're with the Plastics." The bell rang. "There's no time. Caddy, can you come over to my house tonight?" She nodded. Janis scribbled her phone number on a piece of paper. "There. Text me after school and I'll send you my address. I'll see you later." She threw her a peace sign, throwing her bag over her shoulder and leaving, holding Damian's hand. 

"Bye," She said, smiling at them.


End file.
